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Prakash
Subbarao's Blog |
25th August 2008
Dat's Dubai!
Having lived in Dubai for six years, having explored most of
it on foot, by camel and by car (I am kidding about the camel bit, of
course) I take a keen interest in the place.
For the four of the six years that I lived there, I wandered hither and
thither by share taxis and by buses.
I lived near Rolla Square in Sharjah
where it was very easy to get a taxi. Every ten seconds a taxi would roll
past, its driver honking the honk almost continuously while looking straight
head with a scowl. The only indication that this was a share taxi going to
Dubai was a finger of his right hand pointing upwards at a forty five degree
angle, like an erect phallus.
I soon learnt that (a) most of the taxi drivers in Dubai are from Pakistan
(b) they have their radios tuned to local FM stations and consequently are
absolutely up-to-date on the news and (c) they are a garrulous lot who like
to share their experiences and as well as your own on a variety of subjects.
The only time in six years that I can remember a taxi driver who didn't
utter a single word within the first ten minutes of my getting into his taxi
was a Pathan who was intently listening to a cassette tape of a woman
talking. She kept on and on and this piqued my curiosity. "Who is talking
and what is she saying?" I asked him. "That's my mother talking" he said.
"She's asking me for money. She always asks for money every time she sends me
a tape, which is every month. This time its for my sister's marriage". He
dejectedly switched off the tape recorder but knowing these blokes, he would have
sent the money, even if he had to borrow from a money lender at exorbitant
interest.
If you are a really good listener, you will hear some incredible stories
from these cabbies.
I was once in a taxi whose driver came from a lawless
area on the Pakistan - Afghan border, the area where Osama Bin Laden can be
routinely seen at the local grocery shop, buying vegetables for his mujahideen, and where
all types of guns are sold on the footpath.
Traffic that day was dense and we were on a long journey from
Bur Dubai to Sharjah and so he told me, in great detail, about the gun
business in Pakistan. It was fascinating.
Apparently Pakistan has a law wherein single shot rifles can
be legally owned, and the gun industry in the particular town that this
driver was from, specialized in converting rapid fire Kalashnikov AK-47s to
single fire guns by modifying the mechanism. "One can convert it back to a
rapid-fire gun very easily" he told me with a chuckle "there is a hidden
lever that, if depressed, restores the gun to its original state".
Another taxi driver once asked me whether my wife lives with me. When I
replied that she lived in India he empathized with me and told me a very
interesting story.
"I am faithful to my wife and do not sleep with women, or
men, here in Dubai" he told me. After many years of such a life, when I went
back to my home in Pakistan, I found that I just couldn't get an erection
and couldn't make love to my wife. I was very depressed and went to a far
away town to get checked up."
I could understand the clarification about
"the men". The Pathans allegedly have a reputation of being bisexuals and
allegedly can take as much comfort in their male friends (pardon the pun) as they can
in
their wives and girlfriends.
"To a far away town!" I exclaimed "Why didn't you get checked
up in your own town?"
He gave me a pitying look and said "My own town? Then the
whole town would know about my plight within five minutes of my having left
the doctor! Anyway, the doctor told me that there was nothing wrong with me
and that I should go home to my wife and try again to make love to her. On
my way home, I met a very close friend of mine. He is almost like a brother
to me. I was feeling miserable and in a moment of weakness, I confided my
problem to him. He told me that he had a cure for my malady. And a very
simple one at that. "Take some khajur (dates) and soak them overnight
in milk. Drink them the first thing in the morning and you will be cured" he
told me. I did what he said and you know what, Sirji? The next morning I had
a very strong erection and made passionate love to my wife and it was
tremendous! Now I have so much respect for the power of dates (no pun
intended by author) that when I see any lying
on the road, I try and avoid driving my taxi over them."
Now that I have explained the psyche of Dubai taxi drivers to you, I must
reproduce below a letter to the editor of the Gulf News which was published
recently.
" This is in response to Mr J. McDonald's letter, wherein he talks about
taxi drivers that get personal with customers ("Still in them", Gulf News,
August 16,2008). I had a bad experience, recently. It may be fine with Mr
McDonald if a taxi driver asks him personal questions since he is a male.
However, it is very offensive when the taxi driver wants to know my marital
status, where my husband works, how many children I have; or better yet, if
I don't, the reasons behind it. Then he asked whether I use birth control.
Does Mr J. McDonald still find this amusing?" wrote an irate Ms. Leena
Samuel
Dat's Dubai!
Stay tuned till my next blog!
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